Queer, straight, township, suburbs – there's a PolyCocktails for you!

Click this Meetup link to attend an event near you.

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Anneke, host of Queer PolyCocktails, 2nd Thursday of the month

I am based in Joburg and work in digital marketing (don't we all?).

I love words, yoga, the outdoors, making ceramics and being creative.

Connecting with people gives me life and I find relationships personally transformative.

I am currently learning the sacred art of Shibari and I'm queer AF.

Siphiwe, host of PolyCocktails Soweto

I am a public speaker, a published opinion columnist for Thought Leader and many other publications. I enjoy tackling challenging topics with the sole aim to get our nation in conversation with each other.

Marelise, host of PolyCocktails Pretoria and co-host (with Erich) of 0nline Polycocktails, (Last Thurs of the month)

Born & based in Pretoria, Marelise has been practicing polyamory since 2014, and got involved with PolyCocktails in 2018.

She stares down the patriarchy via kitchen table poly and challenges default modes of thinking on her podcast the Curious Meerkat (Spotify link) or Apple Podcasts.

Poly book suggestion: Polysecure (Jessica Fern)

Patrick, host of PolyCocktails Edenvale (and roaming co-host of other events)

Based in Johannesburg and Pretoria, Patrick is a problem solver, manager and mentor.

He has been involved in alternative lifestyles since 2016 and joined PolyCocktails in 2018.

When he's not hosting PolyCocktails events, you can find him at events with a rope in hand where he introduces guests to the world of kink and communication.

Janet Founder of PolyCocktails and host of PolyCocktails Johannesburg (last Friday of the month)

Frustrated with the lack of a polyamory-friendly, sexually and romantically open social scene away from sex parties and play events, Janet started PolyCocktails in 2017 to cater to people in open romantic and exclusive relationships who want to go out for an evening drink and chat. Since then it has grown to six monthly events.

She has been in polyamorous relationships since 2016.

Erich, co-host (with Marelise) of online Polycocktails

Polyamorous since 2016, Erich administers the PolyCocktails website as well as Polyamory.org.za, the Polyamory South Africa Facebook page and group, and the Instagram account.

He launched a podcast in 2021 called The Relationship Coach Show to equip marriage therapists and relationship coaches with tools around Gender Sexuality and Relationship diverse lifestyles and clients.

The PolyCocktails L.O.V.E.R.S. guidelines.

We're a diverse community in terms of race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality and relationship orientation. We meet in public spaces, not kink venues. Here's the PolyCocktails "LOVERS" guide to keeping the space safe.

L is for Learn

Learn – Poly Cocktails is for learning about polyamory and developing friendships and connections. It is not a play space. No nudity, kink, or sex play is permitted at the event.

E is for Expectations

Expectations – check them at the door! Interest in polyamory does not signal sexual availability or indicate sexual orientation.



Open communication

Verbal consent


Safe space.

O is for Open communication

Open communications – Poly Cocktails is a place to exercise open communications with intention, foster interactive dialogue, facilitate trust, develop your listening skills, and give and receive support. So be kind.

R is for Respectful Behaviour

Respectful behavior toward hosts and guests is required. Be kind. Don't swear at people. Don't lose your temper. Don't shame people for their relationship structures, their sexual orientation or anything else.

V is for Verbal consent

Verbal Consent – We encourage everyone to obtain verbal consent and explicit negotiations (as modeled at Cuddle Parties) before initiating physical contact (this means ask before you hug or kiss).

S is for Safe Space

Safe Space – Poly Cocktails is safe space for all sexual orientations and gender/kink identities, as well as those who identify as monogamous. No photography, video or recording of any kind is allowed without prior verbal consent of all parties involved.